Keep Moving Forward

I wish that this post was filled with the glorious news that the latest procedure worked and that we are expecting another child, however, that is simply not the case.  The disappointment is a familiar feeling, yet the pain is no less.  I wallowed in self-pity for a couple of days and then I sprung back into action.  I spoke with Tulsa Fertility Clinic a few times this week.  It has been a little over a year since we began treatment with my current doctor and throughout this process, I have learned to become my own advocate.  Much of the decision-making has fallen to me as far as “what to do next” each time.  At this point, we have decided to push toward in vitro fertilization (IVF), a much more invasive procedure than what I have experienced thus far.  It is quite costly and my insurance company offers very limited coverage when it comes to fertility treatments, however we believe it is something that we can manage.  The financial counselor and IVF coordinator put my mind at ease about a few things.  This next step in our journey is sure to be emotionally draining, physically demanding, and just plain exhausting all around.

   I have decided to carry out one more cycle with my doctor here before our appointment in Tulsa on April 3^rd.  I have begun my medication, scheduled my ultrasound, and ordered the other necessary medications.  I am not sure that we will do another intrauterine insemination this cycle.  I just do not think this procedure will work for us.  At times I feel that I have completely zeroed out on my faith. However, something inside me keeps pushing me to continue to try.  If we are not successful this cycle, then we have made the preparations to move on to consult about IVF and I am confident that it is the right move for us.  Even if the results are not what we hoped for, at least we will know that we did everything that we could to achieve our dream.  IVF is not a guarantee, but it will significantly increase our chances to add to our family.  Our journey will end there, as it is the only other option that we have in regard to treatment.  I pray that my body will be able to meet the physical demands of the preparation and procedure, my spirit will remain hopeful, and that if we do not meet with success, our family will be able to make peace and keep moving forward.