We traveled to Tulsa Fertility Clinic last week and visited a new doctor. A few weeks ago I took it upon myself to call and make my own appointment and have our records sent. The staff at the clinic in Tulsa were all extremely helpful and they were able to get us in to see them quickly. I spoke with them a few times leading up to our appointment. I just had this feeling that we would never have success with my doctor here in our area. I was right! Just a few minutes into our visit, our new doctor looked over my husband's past couple of tests and told us that with the numbers we have to work with, we only had a 1-3% chance of conceiving another child with the procedures we had done at my OBGYN'S office. It took a minute for me to grasp that we had just spent a year of our time enduring endless rounds of medication, tests, and procedures, as well as spending a couple thousand dollars-and it was all in vain! Now that I have had time to process it, I can recognize that the past year has prepared us for what we need to do next. I have learned so much about the world of infertility and myself. I am in a much better place to cope with our next step because of what I have been through.
Our doctor also told us that since I have an autoimmune disease, I am likely to develop others as I grow older which could affect my ability to conceive and carry a child. She said that one of the best things that could have happened to us on our infertility journey was for my husband's doctor to put him on the proper medication. She said that many doctors try to treat the problem by prescribing a testosterone, which actually suppresses sperm production. Fortunately, the doctor we had seen in Tulsa last year had the wisdom to prescribe Clomid and we have been able to see some positive results.
Given our medical situation and with time working against both of our bodies, our doctor told us that the only option for us to be able to conceive another child is to undergo in vitro fertilization. I had already come to this conclusion before we arrived, so there was no decision to be made. We started taking the first steps in moving forward with it. The nurse gave us an informational packet to look over and some paperwork to have some blood tests done. My husband had his tests done yesterday and I traveled a little over an hour to Bentonville today to have a special blood test to assess my ovarian function. Then I visited my doctor in Fort Smith for other tests. In about a week we will go back to Tulsa to go over our results and to take a class to learn about the injections we will have to use. In the meantime, I will start birth control and take that for a few weeks to prepare my body for the bombardment of medication that will ensue in the weeks leading up to the procedure. During that time, I will have to travel to Tulsa every couple of days until the procedure. The whole process is quite invasive. If you are unfamiliar with how in vitro fertilization works, the basic concept behind it involves daily injections of hormones that will stimulate my ovaries to produce many eggs. These eggs will be monitored closely and when they are large enough a trigger shot will be given to release them. I will be given a sedative and the doctor will retrieve the eggs. The eggs will be fertilized in a labratory and then two will be transferred back into my body. It will be up to my body to accept the eggs. If we have enough viable embryos, some will be frozen to be used in another cycle if needed.
As you can imagine, my mind was blown after that first visit. How could we have been able to conceive this beautiful child six years ago after just three months of trying with no sort of fertility medication and now be faced with in vitro as our only chance of having another? We know that my body was not under the strain of an auto-immune disease at that time. It has manifested itself only in recent years. My condition has not prevented me from becoming pregnant though, as I have been ovulating with the aid of medicine for over a year now. The most mind-boggling thing our doctor told us at our consultation was that my husband's problem has most likely been an issue for some time. She said, "I don't know what you believe in, but your first child was probably a true, divine miracle."
I still have so much to learn about this procedure and I worry constantly. I worry about having to miss work, the side effects of the medication and how my body will hold up, the emotional toll the process will take on our family, the financial strain, missing important family events or possibly my daughter's dance recital if the timing of the procedure conflicts (it depends on my body and how the eggs are growing). Above all these small things, I worry that the procedure will not work. My biggest fear at the moment is that my body will not allow an egg to implant. I have read horrible stories in medical journals and on-line forums about how the presence of thyroid anitbodies, which I have, can inhibit implanation. In the past week, I have been on the verge of tears every minute of every day. It is so much to take in. I am blessed to have the support of my employer, my colleagues, my dear friends, my family, and countless others. Another comfort is that my church has an official stance on in vitro and the manner by which we are approaching it is supported. I have decided not to update my blog until I am on the other side of this-whatever that may be. It is simply too difficult for me and I need to focus on remaining positive and hopeful. I ask for your prayers as we begin this journey.
